Getting Good and Old

Serenity might be too strong a word, but forgive me. My mind is foggy from heavy injections of sugar, butter, and tryptophan. Just two helpings of potatoes short of Thanksgiving nirvana, I count my blessings and reflect.

As a kid growing up in Rhode Island, Thanksgiving was somewhat ambiguous. My nick-name was "Chub" which might explain why endless food as a holiday theme struck a cord. But some of it was really gross. Stuffing, for example. Soggy chunks of onions and celery? No thanks. Canned green bean casserole with chow mein noodles on top? Are you kidding me? 

There was a lot of love in the air in those days, with a touch of family tension. Leading up to sitting down for dinner, the momentum in the kitchen was palpable and intense. Humming of mixers, the buzzing of an electric carving knife and endless whisking was accompanied by the oven door opening and closing, again and again, in crescendo. Foil-covered bowls and pots outnumbered guests. "Stir the gravy!" It was hot. The dishes and pans to wash were overwhelming.

Then I got married and marched to the beat of Martha Stewart. I toiled over an artichoke stuffing with free-range walnuts that nobody liked. The turkey was blessed and fed a last supper of organic grain before it was killed, wrapped and priced accordingly. Roasted root vegetables with sprigs of herbs we grew in pots on our deck were not quite the hit I anticipated. That fourth trip downtown in heavy traffic for the Gewurtztraminer we absolutely needed for dinner made me cranky. The dishes that I transferred the food to from the pots in order to look good on the table were even more overwhelming, and not dishwasher safe. 

With a headache from our too-expensive wine, everything was more challenging. The icing on the homemade carrot cake was that my kids didn't eat much at Thanksgiving dinner and were hungry for macaroni and cheese shortly afterwards. And I made it for them.

Thank God middle age has set in!  I look in the mirror and the blurry, older version of myself accepts that I was never much of a fancy cook. That's why we have older sisters. All I want is for family, friends and my dog to be around and relatively happy. A "natural" Butterball Turkey seems quite content in my refrigerator. The pretty box of Bell Stuffing is sleek enough in its simplicity, and the ingredients thankfully too small to read. Pie-making is happily surrendered to my cheerful and enthusiastic daughter. I am able to turn a blind eye to my son drinking soda, eating cookies and playing video games minutes before dinner. It's their smiles and laughter I crave.

I drink the wine that is closest to me, and open. Even dog hair blowing around in tumbleweeds in the right light can be artistic. With this age comes freedom to give in to and thoroughly enjoy the unique energy and momentum of us.  The recipe for fond memories, it turns out, is pretty simple.

Presented on Thanksgiving is an opportunity to live in the moment of the incredible abundance that surrounds me. I'm deeply grateful to have, at last, the good sense to seize it.

The First Step to Recovery

Thursday, November 21, 2012
Portland, Maine

Riveted to my computer screen today, I jumped back and forth from C-SPAN to Twitter, completely ignoring the piles of work on my desk and the phone that was ringing. My heart was racing, my mood euphoric, my palms sweaty.

I got high on filibuster reform today, and I might be addicted to change.

There were motions and emotions, speech and debate - all leading to happy hallucinations. Sen. Harry Reid was a strong, courageous cowboy. He was a Majority Master of the Universe who did not bloviate -- did not lecture. He was not pedantic, but instead passionate and virile. Reid fought for us, using words and the rules of the Senate as a mighty sword.

Such a powerful drug was this action in the senate, even Sen. McConnell didn’t annoy me. He was eloquent and brisk. In the fencing match of procedural tricks and machinations the repartee and votes were close and fast. McConnell’s arguments were hollow, of course, but everything looks good in the right light. Waiving Obamacare like shiny rhinestoned shield, McConnell threw up the white flag, shouting to his base,  “Retreat! Fire up the fundraising machine! Prepare for the public relations war!”

After seeing and hearing what happened in the Senate today, while reading and tweeting reaction and surprise, I finally know what its like to play Halo or be an NHL fan. Maybe this is what watching Downtown Abby does to people. 

The drama, the pageantry and the visceral emotion if captured and transmitted to the grid could power a bright future.

Gasbags in Maine Explain Gender Wage Gap

The “liberal media” in conspiracy with the Census Bureau reported this week that women earn 80% of what men earn, on average.

Research explains roughly 60% of the problem: Women pull out of the fast lane to care for children or enter professions that pay less, for example. Forty percent of the gender wage gap “puzzle” however is a gaping black hole not explained by scientific study.

The issue of persistent inequality of income between men and women in the United States is open to sheer speculation, and one thing we know for sure is that gasbags abhor a vacuum.

Look no further than the “Sage of Farmington” to offer his keen insight as to why women don’t earn equal pay for equal work in the land of equal opportunity. His self-absorbed, back-slapping column doesn’t tackle the issue directly, but its mere presence in Maine newspapers offers some not-so-nuanced clues.

The Sage writes of his love to read and reread what a fellow curmudgeon columnist writes adoringly about him, but makes it clear he won’t stoop to read anything written by conservative-turned-liberal women, like Arianna Huffington.  While he delights in rattling off a laundry list of obscure male writers he and like-minded true “genetic conservatives” inhale, Huffington isn’t “intellectual” enough for his club. She is merely “good looking.”

With all his time spent reading hard-to-find works of underground pure conservatives, it’s no wonder the Sage has never encountered a single person who has drifted from the right to the left of the political spectrum. His worldview springs forth from an echo chamber like a breath of stale air. How privileged we are in Maine to read his opinions and ideas in the newspapers and on the Internet.

So what do the women columnists have to say about the subject of disparate pay in Maine, and the nation?  

Well, that’s left to speculation as well! You see there are plenty of conservative men who are paid to lament publicly about being treated unfairly by the “liberal media,” but no women paid less to weigh in on the gender gap, or anything else political for that matter.

A cruel irony, perhaps, is that women’s voices are welcome, for free, on the Huffington Post.

Why don’t things change and get better for working women, with regularly published lectures from men like the Sage who writes with pride that he “never experienced a transition?” What a surprise the gender wage gap continues, with daily doses of what old farts like him have to say.

The Sage is given a public voice by the biggest news outlet in Maine to write about his resentment of being constantly exposed to liberal points of view, while according to him “liberals” live their entire lives “without any direct exposure at all” to conservative brilliance.  

I dare you to speculate what will happen when the people of Maine are finally given “direct exposure” to women’s voices in the media about political issues like the chronic wage gap between men and women. I’ll go out on a limb and suggest us girls will be paid more fairly. Good looking, or not.

Double Standard for Women: Democrats and Republicans on Common Ground

As one Christian woman to another, I fully support Maine Republican House member Amy’s Volk’s legislation to erase prostitution convictions from the records of human trafficking victims. My God, what if Mary Magdalane had a rap sheet? We might not know He is risen.

But let’s put aside the merits of the legislation, and assume we are on common ground when it comes to having compassion and doing what’s right for those forced in to sex slavery.

What Maine’s political party chairmen did and said following the dismissal of Volk’s legislation by Democratic leaders is of interest to me.

"This is a Republican party and a conservative legislator who is desperate to try to realign a gender gap that their party faces at the polls, and a representative who needs to kind of soften her hard edges,” said the Democratic Chair Ben Grant, justifying the partisan smackdown of Volk’s bill.

Anyone who knows Representative Volk will attest she is hardly a woman with hard edges. “Curvaceous” is more like it. But it’s not her body Grant is talking about. For lack of a Christian term, it’s her chutzpah.

Grant’s remarks were offensive, like GOP Chairman Bennett said to his base, before dramatically demanding an apology while invoking Volk’s religion.

“For the Democrat Chairman to say that Rep. Volk is just trying to ‘soften her edges’ sounds patronizing and sexist...Rep. Volk is a Christian woman who feels strongly about helping people recover from difficult situations; she was involved in an effort at her church to raise money to fight human trafficking well before this bill came out….”

Did Bennett say something about Christianity and fundraising? That’s a familiar tune straight from the conservative hymnal. It’s not that Volk is feisty, she’s doing God’s work.

Either the weight of Catholic guilt or polling prompted an “apology” of sorts by Grant. His remorse was couched in intellectual terms, as if “patronizing and sexist” can be disproved with research or ignored like a whiny two-year old in the back seat of a Prius.

"I made several ill-conceived remarks last week about Representative Volk's proposed legislation. Since that interview, I have looked into the matter further and now understand that the issue of human trafficking does occur in all 50 states…”

Grant’s remarks questioning the need for legislation to protect human trafficking victims were ill-conceived, no doubt, and his apology noted.

But what about the remark that Volk needs to soften her hard edges? Grant blurted out what many believe but dare not say. Snarky is for guys.

The challenge for women regardless of party in the blood sport of politics is to succeed without appearing to want success. To win a fight without being scrappy. What’s admired as “bold” in men is scorned as brash in women. What’s sharp is shrill.

The Democratic Party and many “liberals” are theoretically feminist but fall short of always valuing women equal to men. There is a double standard about what’s politically correct. Likewise, theoretically the Republican Party is for “small government,” except when it comes to dictating what women do with their bodies. Prostitutes might not have a criminal record in their world, but they also have no choice.

More Than a Few Good Men

Its harder than ever to get unbiased reporting. Every ideology has its own channel, every bully their own pulpit. Social media gives anyone with a device a voice, and reduces complexity to sound-bite. The Center for Public Interest Reporting disrupts this frenetic pace just in time for the 2014 elections, and offers up the opposite of all-inclusive, short and new.

So move over Woodward and Bernstein. John Christie’s epic investigative report, The Book on Paul LePage: The ‘biggest, baddest person around’ crashes Augusta’s ‘nicey-nicey’ club, is a gripping mind-numbing narrative that reads like a very, very long Hollywood screenplay. Culled from an exhaustive number of interviews with men of Maine, Christie’s piece is jam-packed with breathtaking revelations of the inner workings of Maine’s governor and those whose jobs depend on him.  

The breadth of Christie’s Rolodex is impressive. Several important people connected to the 2010 gubernatorial race, including former GOP challenger Peter Mills, were interviewed. After losing the primary for his second time, Mills, dubbed “student of the budget” by Christie, confessed that LePage’s controversial pension reform legislation is his “single biggest achievement.” Numerous similarly profound remarks are quoted in Christie’s masterpiece. Not mentioned by Christie but worth noting is that citizens can read even more of what this Maine Sage has to say on Twitter @MaineTurnpike, where Mills works thanks to a LePage appointment.

Eliot Cutler, the unenrolled candidate who lost in 2010 to LePage, was also interviewed by Christie and quoted several times in the “book” allegedly about LePage. Cutler has never held public office and is running again for governor, but graciously found time to offer Christie this juicy tidbit, “I’ve put good practices in place in government...it’s hard work and it’s collaborative.” 

For this incisive self-analysis, it’s no wonder Cutler is described by Christie as the “classic good government independent.”

Contrast these two 2010 election casualties, Scholar Mills and Classic Good Government Cutler, with the third, “stalwart Democrat” Libby Mitchell. 

Mitchell won the 2010 democratic primary in a crowded field, and lost the general election. Of the 34 people interviewed for Christie’s investigation, Mitchell, the first woman in any state to be elected both Speaker of the House and President of the Senate with decades of experience as public servant, was not among those interviewed. The public owes Christie a debt of gratitude, however, for boiling down her expansive career to just one sentence. That takes real journalistic skill.  

Christie speaks for Mitchell briefly and with confidence, and that’s what matters.  He tells us Mitchell “did not make the pension debt an issue and believed future investment returns would solve the problem - a view the Democratic-appointed head of the pension board did not endorse.” 

What does Mitchell herself have to say? Who is the so-called “Democratic-appointed” pension expert who disagrees with her, and why? Perhaps these questions, answers, and primary sources are slated for Christie’s much awaited sequel.

What’s most telling is Christie’s airtight confirmation of what many have long suspected: Men lose elections because they are too smart; women lose elections because they aren’t smart enough.

Investigative journalism takes more than wit, and is not suited for the faint at heart. In this respect, Christie is a tiger in that jungle some call Augusta. It took guts for him to ask Severin Beliveau, a “partner in one of the state’s leading law firms” whose “bona fides are as long and as impressive as his success as a lobbyist” how he feels about Maine’s governor. Christie’s relentless, hard-hitting journalism paid off when he uncovered that Beliveau, who has gobs of business and money tied up in state politics, has nothing but good things to say about the chief executive and all state agencies he appears before. 

“There’s been an almost dramatic change in the attitude in the state agencies,” Beliveau conceded, no doubt sweating over the possibility he revealed too much to this intrepid reporter. “They’ve become more respectful, more helpful, willing to find a way to solve a problem.”

Shocking words from the Godfather of Maine politics!

And it's hard to fathom that in one of the most politicized environments in the state's history, Christie was able to track down as many consultants he did who are "neutral” with no opinion whatsoever. Citing him 8 times, Christie describes Alan Caron, for instance, “one of the most cited centrists in the state.” Caron’s objectivity and Harvard education are obvious in this bold revelation that, “the cup is half full and half empty when it comes to Paul LePage.” 

Christie’s Leviathan has more than 70 quotes from 26 men, not including the dozens of quotes from LePage. We can accept what these learned men say is true because Christie went to great length investigating and reporting their credentials. Mr. Woodbury is a no ordinary economist. He is a “Harvard-educated economist.” Mr. Clair is the Chairman of the state’s Consensus Economic Forecasting Commission, the CEO of Good Health Care Systems, a former non-partisan staffer to the Legislature’s Appropriations Committee, and holds a master's degree in public administration from Syracuse University. Mr. Caron has his master’s degree in public policy from Harvard. Mr. Peterson is a Professor at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government. Mr. Linsky teaches public leadership at the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard. 

In the public’s interest, Christie doesn’t limit his “sources” to the upper crust, though. A man with zero credentials, Al Diamon, speaks the universal language all men understand when he is quoted saying LePage is “a boob.”

Refreshing is Christie’s chivalry. He works hard to spare the tiny handful of women identified in his opus from being “labeled” or boxed-in by degrees or professional experience. As the majority of the “public” whose interest Christie gallantly seeks to protect, his concern that these females might be stereotyped as elitist, pompous or even affected by credentials is noble. Christie’s sparing use of 11 very short quotes from just 7 women demonstrate his very excellent point: When it comes to women, less is enough. 

In fact, only two women quoted by Christie are burdened with reference to education at all, and in the case of Pola Buckley, the article is as “understated” as possible. Buckley is, a "CPA" lucky to be “appointed by the Democratic Legislature.” 

By omitting reference to Buckley’s MBA and previous experience as the CFO at a major manufacturing company and analyst at a Fortune 500 Company, the public won’t be lulled into thinking she is over-confident.

Maybe there just wasn’t room in his 19 pages of “journalism” for Christie to report the credentials of women in this “who’s who” of Maine politics. He strikes the right “balance” by not mentioning Emily Cain’s Harvard education, for example, or Mayor Karen Heck’s award-winning and impressive resume. Libby Mitchell has a law degree, but that’s nothing the “public” wants to know.

Christie’s work reminds us there are countless courageous and thoughtful heroes earning a living as political elites in Maine. What political consultant Dan Demeritt said of his former boss, Lepage, captures the spirit and grit of these men, and will undoubtedly serve him well in 2014. 

“I would walk in front of a train for him,”  he told Christie, who had no choice but to publish this very moving and selfless statement - something every Maine citizen should know. 

Every word in Christie’s 10,000+ word article is pure gold. A must-read for all Mainers, indeed all who call themselves Americans.

It's a Soap Opera Running an Airbnb with my Thrifty New England Husband

No one likes to lose and nobody wants their losses hung out to dry. Last November I did both when I ran for the United States Senate.

It wasn’t just losing the election. That was no surprise. It was losing by so much. The magnitude was sobering.

Worse was the post-election mourning period. It was like death—nobody knew what to say.  Neighbors avoided eye contact at the IGA. Party invitations dried up. My tweets were retweeted no more.  

Public rejection is not a confidence-builder.  It is hard work and hard on relationships.  The agony of defeat doesn’t stop the world from turning though, it just adjusts the focus. I knew I was writing my own script. I needed to take on a new challenge and succeed.

The big purge was step one. We had a massive yard sale to clear the deck and help clear my head. Good-bye futon mattresses, lava lamps and bumper stickers! Sayonara old toys, palm cards, T-shirts and yard signs.

Truck loads of stuff was carted out of my life, creating space for opportunity and hope to creep back in.

The Dill for U.S. Senate campaign office became the Pillar Suite—a place for people to come and enjoy a beautiful coastal town in Maine. We have a listing on the chic Airbnb website and host guests from New York City, Montreal, Los Angeles and beyond.

And it turns out I’m not such a loser after all.

“Cynthia was a terrific host, ” said Jordan from Waitsfield, Vermont.

“Cynthia took great care in giving us fresh dishes and rinsed out the coffee pot for us each morning,” commented Christine from Brooklyn.

“As a host, she was VERY accommodating and responded quickly before and during the trip to all my inquiries (thank you!). I would definitely stay with Cynthia again…”

Our guests love the robust coffee, fresh orange juice and Greek yogurt I leave in the shiny new refrigerator. They appreciate the maps and brochures I carefully organize on the desk. They snack on the variety of granola bars I arrange in a pretty clay bowl. They sleep well in the sheets and blankets I bought on line at JC Penny.

Don’t get me wrong. Life as an Airbnb hostess is not without its challenges.

Ten months ago, I worried about crafting pithy position papers on national issues, now I fret about finding soap small enough to satisfy my husband’s thrifty nature. You see, the small bars of Dove we purchase for the Pillar Suite cost as much as the large bars and both get thrown out long before their utility is expired. The waste is killing my one and only.

So, we scour our house for unused hotel soaps and bottles of body wash. We compare soap prices at CVS to Hannaford’s and Whole Foods.  We consider alternatives, and watch YouTube videos about recycling by boiling soap lumps with pieces of balsam or lemon peel.

It’s a struggle, but we’re up for it. Every day and every guest present an opportunity. Life is exciting and rewarding.

As long as we can re-invent ourselves to serve and bring comfort to others the American Dream lives on, I’m happy to report.  

Maine Dems and the Bluegrass State

When GOP Senate Leader Mitch McConnell worked like a maniac to kill a bipartisan transportation bill championed by Susan Collins that would put people to work fixing bumpy roads and crumbling old bridges, the senior senator from Maine publicly offered no explanation.

“I can’t speculate on why. All I can tell you is he has never worked harder against a member of his own party than he did against me today.”

McConnell's efforts to squash months of hard work included standing guard at the voting desk in the austere senate chamber while sheepish GOP senators flipped their "aye" committee vote to "nay."

Was Collins the only Republican joining Democrats on a terrible bill? Or was it Republicans abandoning one of their own and good legislation for purely political reasons? 

McConnell says he was only protecting the Sequester. That awful, foolish legislation opposite the transportation bill. He says Congress should not be spending tax payer money on things tax payers need and want. He intends to prove by example that government is the problem in the hope he can get re-elected to further disassemble it. 

Apparently most Senate Republicans agree with him, while Washington Democrats describe our Maine Republican senator as a Profile in Courage.

Independents meanwhile wring their hands about abuse of the filibuster they could help change with just a bit of courage and gumption. 

So what about the 2014 election, and Maine's profile in the U.S. Senate?  

Running against Senator Collins will be a memorable, rewarding, expensive and very lonely experience for most Democratic contenders. Trust me.

Our own party apparatus in the capital city will leave our Democratic candidate left to fend for herself, not because she is a terrible candidate but for political reasons. 

A compromise is surely in order! Maine Democrats can help elect Alison Lundergan Grimes, the Kentucky Democrat running against Mitch McConnell.