Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hate to Hate the Haters

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab ("Umar F'in A") tried to bring down Northwest Airlines flight 253 using a PETN bomb in his bikini underwear, as we all know. On the flight he allegedly threw one of those germy airline blankets over his head and said, "I have a stomach ache," and then tried to blow up the plane and kill all the people. On Christmas.

If this incident wasn't so absolutely disgusting and disturbing, it would be funny. Tina Fey or Seth Meyers is going to stretch this material until the absurdity makes people laugh. Thank God.

The vignette might include an all-American "kid" the size of Bill Murray flying home alone, again, from boarding school. In his loneliness he tries to befriend Umar F'in A. Umar is distracted, however, with his evil plot and rejects Billy's overtures of friendship with distain. Billy's pissed, so when Umar pushes the button to request a blankie and no attendant appears because the airline is on the verge of bankruptcy, cute little Billy offers Umy his Harry Potter "Invisibility Cloak" (wink wink). We might then see Umar rubbing his hands, laughing menacingly, pouring steaming chemicals into science beakers he pulls from his pants, under what he thinks is a blanket...until he's whacked in the head and subdued by the SNL guest who runs in breathlessly and says in that old familiar way,

"Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

But we are not there yet. Before we can joke at all about this very serious breach of national security we have the investigative reports to hear, the congressional committee hearings to withstand, the media slice-and-dice, the international reaction and the Republican fundraising to survive. Even worse, though, are all the blogosphere hate comments.

In one particular Facebook post, a right-winger Friend of mine posted a comment that suggested President Obama is responsible for the underwear bomber because two of the accomplices were released from Gitmo. He even cited a link to a story from ABC News! The story reported that two former Guantanamo prisoners were implicated in this terrorist plot, and that they had been released in November of 2007. A year before Barrack Obama was elected. Nevertheless, a comment followed that read:

"I honestly wanna know who voted for that stupid fucker because i ask everyone every day and NO one says they voted for him...."

You might have read some of these hate comments. I hate them. When a Bangor Daily News story wrote about Congresswomen Chellie Pingree's life and career, some anonymous person wrote:

"And your moron Pingree, who says she is against corporate welfare, beamed when she announced a $40 million stimulus gift to Mafioso wind company Firts Wind. Corporta welfare is good if it's for one of Chellie's pet causes. She is fired next November."

What kind of humanity tries to blow up innocent families traveling on Christmas Day? How can anyone who has a heartbeat not know someone who voted for the President of the United States? He got roughly 53% of the vote nationwide and all four Maine electoral votes! And, Chellie is a moron? I bet she can spell First and Corporate.

We were raised not to hate. It's hard not to hate the haters.

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