Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Quick Brown Fox Jumped Over the Lazy Democrat

The story of Scott Brown winning the Massachusetts senate seat is an excellent reminder that politics is a lot like sports. People root for the underdog. A game in which one side gets crushed isn't that fun and sometimes you cheer for the other team when one of its skinny little players makes the free throw.

The new senate score of 59 to 41 means the Republicans made it to the finals. The crowds are going crazy and rushing down on to the field. The pundits are doing the Monday morning quarterback routine. It is not clear what, if anything, the outcome will actually mean for most people and it doesn't apparently matter.

We know Senator-elect Brown gives a really long, boring and unscripted speech. He will therefore fit right in the Washington scene, and no doubt there is a bet somewhere being made on the odds of a scandal coming to light before the re-election in 2012. The drama will continue. The Democrats and the Republicans will chew on the outcome of this race for months, and exploit it shamelessly for money, jokes and sweet revenge. We will exacerbate our carpel tunnel with feverish clicks of the remote.

Meanwhile in Portland, Jome Murphy is being charged with assault for spraying protesters and police with fox urine. He apparently was sick and tired of the whining going on below his apartment about alleged poor working conditions for restaurant workers and took the matter in to his own hands.

Lord knows some trial lawyer will argue Murphy's got Second Amendment rights to pack fox urine and protect his home from liberal union radicals. President Obama and his social secretary are busy planning a Tea Party for Senators Snowe and Lieberman. The world keeps spinning and Fox News is undoubtedly enjoying its day in the hen house.

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