Tuesday, April 27, 2010

So au courant is green

Plugged-in and contemporary treehuggers intent on decarbonizing the world are endearing, and you are reasonably tolerant of vivacious Gen Y'sters endlessly jabbering about green jobs. You would drive a hybrid car if you could afford one and you want renewable energy. Fresh and awake you are cool as jade most of the time.

It's when you turn a shade of army green in a sea of emerald, hunter and celadon that stinks. The bronze skin tone of friends recently vacationed in Mexico turns your eyes from hazel to celery. Your bunions in flip-flops behind supple perfectly pedicured feet in line at Hannafords give you a glow of olive drab. Wine cellars, lake houses, tickets to Europe, boats, pools, MacBooks and book contracts surround you and stir nauseating embarrassing thoughts. You hate that dark green place.

Oh but the spring green grass is sparkling and virile! You have hip friends and family and your life is lush. Snap out of it! Sustainable living is maintaining a 5 to 1 ratio of feeding and yelling at your kids, and you're out of milk.

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