Saturday, October 3, 2009

The People v. Worldwide Pants

Sexual harassment is not funny. If any of the women David Letterman had sex with at work have been harassed, discriminated against, or otherwise damaged by their relationship with him, they deserve to be fairly compensated and he should be held accountable. I would even consider taking the case.

A guy named Joe threatening a company called Worldwide Pants with a screenplay is kind of funny.

Not all relationships that transpire at work between employees are bad; in fact some lead to 19 year marriages.

No real cases about the exploitation of women are properly the subject of sarcastic editorial.

There is something humorous, though, about the producer of "48 Hours Mystery" lurking outside David Letterman's house in the early morning hours with a mysterious package. Not a pipe bomb or anthrax (because that would not be funny) but... a play! 

The evidence will show that Joe said "your world is about to collapse," and then handed a shaking Letterman the package. Letterman was really, really scared so he wrote a check for $2,000,000. That's what New Yorkers do, I guess, when they are scared. Joe deposited that check along with his paycheck for $214,000 and then got arrested and sent to jail.

The final scene might be Joe's ex-wife, who he tried to screw in a bitter divorce, laughing wickedly and stirring a big saketini. Or maybe Stephanie Birkett, his ex-girlfriend, appearing on Jay Leno announcing the publication of her new book "Not Trying to Go Public: A New Yorker's Life."

The moral to this story? Greed is not good unless it makes people laugh.

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