Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Fudge Factory

Through the picture window sits the big mixing bowl swirling the day's batch, and on the shelves and in the cases varieties of all kinds sit in fat bricks waiting to be gobbled up by people longing for an authentic and “refreshing” Maine experience.

Here’s just a sampling.

A very popular flavor is Dirty Deeds. “I never had it on. Never had it on. Ever,” he said. “That house was bought for my wife. That house in Florida my mother-in-law bought, we helped her.”

Another favorite is DEP Over The Top. "And the state of Maine made me do a three-month buffalo study," he says. "Did you hear what I said? Buffalo study. The next spring, they decided that they still didn't want this project to be built so they had us go out and count black flies. Two months counting black flies. That tells me that the attitude of the regulatory agency was very adversarial to that project."

If you like real BS, try Maine Government Is Out Of Control. “The State of Maine is the only state in the United States of America that charges sales tax on bull semen. You hear that? Bull semen. The only place in the United States of America - this state.”

MLK Holiday Special (now on sale). “I would be more than happy to go, but I would meet all prisoners — and that wasn’t acceptable to them, so tough luck.”

Finally, our newest flavor, "this is nothing but a political race card and tell 'em to get over themselves, I'll send my son, who happens to be a black kid, to talk to 'em."

We are having a contest to name this latest fudge confection. What do you think we should call it?


Anonymous said...

How about LePage a Vu ??

Ms.Paula Page said...

Maine Morass