Sunday, September 27, 2009

In Your Facebook: Fifth Grade All Over Again

My husband refuses to be my friend. It's certainly no surprise, then, that we are celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary Tuesday. Ever since 5th grade I have liked guys who present a challenge.

Facebook is like 5th grade. Numbers, rejection, and obsession are major themes.

For starters, let's face it - the sheer quantity of friends when you are a Middle School kid, and when you play Facebook as an adult, is what counts. Especially if you are in politics. The idea is to rack up a couple hundred "friends" and then bombard them relentlessly with self-serving messages about what you would like them to think you are doing every day. For them.

"Helping to train the next generation of grassroots leaders today!"

"Exhausted after meeting with hundreds of community organizers to help stop global warming!"

"Just voted to send millions of dollars to my pathetic, forlorn district before I head out for martinis and sushi!"

Okay that last quote I made up. The others I didn't. The only thing worse than a politician on Facebook is a blogger.

Then there is the dicey game of requesting friends, and agreeing (or not) to be someone's friend. A trusted 9th grade Facebook consultant told me to accept all friend requests. It's hard to do. There are people who post every God darn thing.

"Just turned on the dishwasher."

Another stressor is that lingering friend suggestion. You know the one. You apparently have a lot of "friends" in common so the FB software thinks you would hit it off. Except you know you hate that person. What's a friend to do?

If you are shy like me you hesitate to ask people who aren't your friends to be friends. But you don't hesitate for long.

And then, what about when that certain person you barely know (or don't know at all) asks you to be friends with him? Sort of pushy, don't you think?

But what the heck. Friends are hard to come by. And besides, chances are there will come a time when somebody you request to be your friend refuses. I know. It sucks. It happened to me once:-(

And how about the games people play? Mafia Wars? Like I feel SO LEFT OUT!!

Finally, admit it. Facebook is addictive and you are obsessed.

"Why hasn't anybody commented on my witty status?"


realsister said...

Your status is very witty. It makes me crave sushi. BTW, why isn't your husband your friend?

Melonie said...

GREAT point of view... loved your insight into the world of FB, Cyn! What gets me is that if it weren't for FB I wouldn't know what the heck was going on with my sisters ...who has time to talk on the phone anymore!? (SO sad....)

HSmevog said...

Ha ha! How about the one who wants to be your friend who got you in trouble in high school for smoking ciggies and that was the last time you heard from her? Does your consultant really say accept ALL requests? ALL old boyfriends, for instance?????

About all the FB games- Barnyard seems to be a biggie here but WHO has the time!! I am still trying to beat my kids in Yahtzee!

Cynthia, I am proud of you for fully embracing the technology age..