Sunday, September 27, 2009
In Your Facebook: Fifth Grade All Over Again
Facebook is like 5th grade. Numbers, rejection, and obsession are major themes.
For starters, let's face it - the sheer quantity of friends when you are a Middle School kid, and when you play Facebook as an adult, is what counts. Especially if you are in politics. The idea is to rack up a couple hundred "friends" and then bombard them relentlessly with self-serving messages about what you would like them to think you are doing every day. For them.
"Helping to train the next generation of grassroots leaders today!"
"Exhausted after meeting with hundreds of community organizers to help stop global warming!"
"Just voted to send millions of dollars to my pathetic, forlorn district before I head out for martinis and sushi!"
Okay that last quote I made up. The others I didn't. The only thing worse than a politician on Facebook is a blogger.
Then there is the dicey game of requesting friends, and agreeing (or not) to be someone's friend. A trusted 9th grade Facebook consultant told me to accept all friend requests. It's hard to do. There are people who post every God darn thing.
"Just turned on the dishwasher."
Another stressor is that lingering friend suggestion. You know the one. You apparently have a lot of "friends" in common so the FB software thinks you would hit it off. Except you know you hate that person. What's a friend to do?
If you are shy like me you hesitate to ask people who aren't your friends to be friends. But you don't hesitate for long.
And then, what about when that certain person you barely know (or don't know at all) asks you to be friends with him? Sort of pushy, don't you think?
But what the heck. Friends are hard to come by. And besides, chances are there will come a time when somebody you request to be your friend refuses. I know. It sucks. It happened to me once:-(
And how about the games people play? Mafia Wars? Like I feel SO LEFT OUT!!
Finally, admit it. Facebook is addictive and you are obsessed.
"Why hasn't anybody commented on my witty status?"